The New World Economics Guide to Men’s Fashion

Today, we think that these things don’t matter. Who cares how you dress? The important thing is building an immense suspension bridge, airport, skyscraper, hydro dam, etc., and of course, driving on the moon. Except that those things, which used to be important to us, are not really that important anymore. People don’t really oooh and ahhh over the Brooklyn Bridge, Eiffel Tower or Empire State Building the way they used to, when Heroic Materialism was in its full flower. Today, our Heroic Materialist (i.e. machine-making, concrete-pouring) ambitions are focused almost entirely on computers and the Internet. Which is fine, but we could have all of that, just as we do today, and also so much more in addition.

To this:

Ask you wife/girlfriend if she approves.

To which you might reply: “Well, I don’t look like George Clooney.”

But, maybe you could if you wanted to?

If that is not a realistic option, I think that being dressed well can add a certain gravitas and grandeur, even if you are ugly.

OK, let’s get started.

First: Get Inspired. Read Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. It says most everything that should be said about the beneficial effects of throwing out your junk.

Buy Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui from Amazon.com

Second: Make some space. Take every scrap of clothing you own, and put it in a big pile on the floor. From this pile, pick out what you need for a week or ten days. For example, if you have a certain work wardrobe, then extract ten days’ worth of clothing from that. Presumably, the best ten days’ worth — your favorite and best clothing. This might be three suits, or five pairs of pants if you don’t wear a suit, and ten shirts. Six or seven neckties. Everything else goes in the disposal pile. For weekend/casual wear, extract a few outfits, for warm and cool weather. There are only two weekend days, so you really don’t need much. Two pairs of casual pants and one pair of shorts, and maybe five collared shirts, is plenty. You might have one pair of “utility” pants for things like yardwork and painting. Everything else goes in the disposal pile. If you have exercise wear, such as jogging shorts, then pick out as many shorts as you might use in a week, let’s say two or three, and junk the rest. Same for socks and underwear. If you have sixty or seventy t-shirts, like most people, choose about five or six and put the rest in the disposal pile. If you wear suits, then pick your best three and the rest goes in the disposal pile. Get rid of anything that is at the end of its useful life. This includes socks with holes in the heel, t-shirts that are getting thin and holey, dress shirts with stained collars or worn elbows, pants that are developing holes, etc.

Anything that you haven’t worn in a year is a good candidate for the disposal pile. However, also the things that you tend to wear all the time should maybe go there too. Time to get out of your rut. Wear something else.

At the end of this exercise, you should have all the clothing you actually need, for various situations including formal, work, casual and the like, and various seasons, but no extra.

If you find this is rather traumatic, make two piles. One is the disposal pile, and one is the “I’ll keep it for now but not in regular rotation” pile. Take the “keep it for now” pile, pack it in a cardboard box, and put it in your garage or attic. You will probably end up with something like 50% in the disposal pile, 30% in the “keep it for now” pile, and 20% remaining for regular use.

If you are still having difficulty with this: Ask your female advisor to do it. Just give her the instructions, leave the house, have a burrito, and come back 30 minutes later. She’ll have it all done.

For the disposal pile, you probably have all sorts of guilt feelings about throwing away perfectly usable clothes. Give these to Goodwill, or a local church or charity. Find someone who can use them. Don’t spend more than a couple days getting rid of it. Get it out of your house and out of your mind.

You might find that this process is, first, a lot more difficult than it seems it should be, and, also, a lot more psychologically invigorating than you might think. You will probably feel miserable when you’re doing it, and feel great once it’s done.

Third: Buy some new underwear. Most everyone could use some new underwear, so just buy a whole new set. This would be about ten days’ worth. Don’t get the cheapie 6-pack from WalMart, but there’s no need to be silly about it either. Just something nice and respectable, that won’t offend your mistress. What, no mistress? You should treat your wife at least as well as your mistress. Now junk all your old underwear. In the trash, obviously. You might want to add socks to this list, depending on their condition. It’s not a bad idea to replace all your underwear about once a year.

Fourth: Recruit your female advisor. Have you noticed that women like to shop together? This is not only to chit-chat, it helps a lot if you have someone separate to critique your ideas. Sometimes a piece of clothing will look good on a model or on a rack, but it won’t look good on you. It might not be the right style, or it’s not age-appropriate, or situation-appropriate, or it won’t fit right or look good on your body type. It might not go well with your hair or skin color, or a dozen different things. Besides, you’re doing this for the first time, and naturally you need help, and you don’t want to look like a goof. Girls know when something looks good. Normally, this would be your wife or girlfriend, but if you don’t have a wife or girlfriend handy, this is a good time to maybe talk to that girl in the office who seems like she knows about clothes, and ask her to help you out. You know the one I’m talking about, right?

Fifth: Get a new hairstyle. It doesn’t have to be particularly complicated. Just something different than what you have, especially if it has been the same for a long time. If you part on the side, then part in the middle. Try going shorter or longer. Maybe facial hair? Or, get rid of the facial hair? Dump the comb-over and embrace the bald? Look at some pictures in magazines for ideas. The main thing is to shake up your style, and get out of your rut.

Sixth: Start replacing your clothes. Pick one certain situation that you will begin to replace. Let’s take casual wear. This is your weekend stuff. First, consider the situation that you will be using it in. The weekend, and a certain season (spring/summer or fall/winter). Begin to consider the options you have within this category. I would draw a hard line and say: no shorts, of any sort, unless used specifically for beachwear or athletic activities. For now, no t-shirts or polo shirts. Jeans are passable but try to get ones with a certain style. Try to get some pants that are not jeans. Don’t repeat yourself, and get, for example, six virtually indistinguishable pairs of “cargo pants.” Get something with stripes. Get something in linen. Get something in wool. Maybe courduroy.

Now you have a specific objective. A certain season, a certain activity (casual weekend wear), a certain environment (the place you live), a certain age (yours), maybe a certain social set, and so forth. What would be appropriate and fun within this context? Start doing some research.

You really don’t have to buy very much. It doesn’t have to be particularly expensive either. I would think about getting one complete outfit — pants, shirt/sweater, shoes, socks, belt, etc. — that go together, and create one coherent image. This way, you won’t pick things out willy nilly that don’t match. Maybe all from the same brand to start, as these usually match well. Make sure it is appropriate for what you actually do. Don’t buy clubwear or resort wear if you don’t go to clubs or resorts. Don’t be hasty about it. It might take a full day at the mall to put it all together. You want to leave a lot of time to allow the various options and combinations to percolate in your brain. Bring your female advisor. Try everything on, and show it to her. She will say things like “that’s fine — if you were 26,” or “you look like a senior citizen,” or “skinny jeans are not your thing,” or “so, are we going to Hawaii soon?” or “let’s make a rule — no pleated pants.” Or, she will get a surprised look on her face like, “wow, who’s the new guy?” This is a sign of success. Next week, buy one more complete outfit. That might be all you need for this year. Go shopping again at the season change (fall or spring), and get two more complete outfits. Repeat next year. That’s it. After three or four years, you will have a lot of quality stuff.

As you get new items, start disposing of your old stuff. After you wear the new stuff a few times, the old stuff will seem very dreary. Don’t buy new stuff and put it in a box for “special occasions” while you continue to wear the old stuff. Every day is a special occasion! Dump the crap.

A few more suggestions: if you wear a suit at work, I would highly suggest getting custom tailored shirts. You don’t have to spend a lot on it. The main thing is that it fits, and if it fits it fits, no matter what the price is. Look on the internet for various options. Off-the-rack suits work for me, but if you are a funny shape, like Winston Churchill, then look into tailored suits as well.

Especially if you are in a large city, consider wearing a suit or jacket more often.

Actually, you can do this in rural/exurban places too, more of a “country gentleman” look than an “urban gentleman” look. Ralph Lauren has made a business of this niche.